Empty Chair Syndrome
Empty chair syndrome refers to the feeling that arises when one loses one’s loved ones. It could be your partner, a friend, a brother or a sister.
It is often confused with the grief of losing a person in general, but it is called empty chair syndrome because it has a special intensity.
Empty chair syndrome often occurs during certain holiday periods or important dates, such as Christmas, birthdays or any other time that has a special meaning to you.
You will discover the empty chair among others and feel a huge empty space and the grief will be refreshed.
The empty chair is a silent witness
An empty chair continues to be the manifestation of what or who you were before and no longer are. This is especially noticeable when you are surrounded by others but suddenly realize that someone is missing.
This strong feeling is part of the grieving process.
When you are faced with the loss of someone you love, you are going through a period where you have to learn to live without that person. It is a time of intense pain.
Grief will continue until you are able to deal with the loss and return to your normal life without the terrible feeling of emptiness.
It is important to understand that empty chair syndrome can occur even if the person you are missing is alive. This may apply to other types of situations, such as loneliness.
When someone leaves you or leaves you, you may also experience empty chair syndrome, although it most often occurs in connection with a death.
You can move on, even if it’s difficult
Even though you may only be able to see things through the pain of your grief, you still have to go through important holidays and times like Christmas – there is no way to ward off that pain. You have to get through the experience, but it will also pass.
To start with, try following the recommendations below. They can help you in the future:
Do not isolate yourself and do not be quiet
When you suffer from empty chair syndrome, you probably do not want to talk about it, and turn away from the people who want to help you. You prefer to suffer in silence.
This is very unhealthy. Try your best to interact with others, even when you do not feel like it, and do not be afraid to seek help if necessary. Sometimes we just need another person to listen and give us attention.
Change the meaning of the empty chair
Things will always mean what you want them to mean. If your empty chair is synonymous with grief and loss, why not give it a new meaning?
Take a closer look, try to remove the negative emotions that you have allowed it to have. Make the chair your friend, not your enemy.
Ask for help
You might think you can handle anything and that if you do not solve things on your own, no one will do it for you. But sometimes you need an extra push or help to move forward.
Do not self-medicate – ie drink alcohol, smoke, take pills or the like to soothe the pain. If the grief is so strong, you should talk to your doctor or psychologist.
A psychologist can help you more than anyone else can, so do not be afraid to seek help.
It is important to accept that people are going to come and go in your life, somehow.
Some will walk away, others will leave you, and others may hurt you. You have no choice but to accept it.
No doubt these situations will hurt because you are human – you have feelings! But you have to learn to accept that things are happening that you cannot control.
