Doubt Before You Get Married: What Can You Do?
Are you in doubt before you get married? Maybe you were already in doubt when your partner gave you the engagement ring. Or maybe it’s happened now that you’re about to take the big step. Believe it or not, this doubt is more common than you might think.
But is it a result of fear of committing to someone, or is there more to it? To find out if you should return the ring or move on with the wedding, keep reading!
Are you in doubt before you get married? Four possible causes
It is important that you know where this doubt is coming from. Knowing the origin of this doubt will help you calm your anxiety and worry. Additionally, this allows you to clarify what you are really feeling.
1. You think about whether they are the right person
Doubt before you get married can show up because you do not know if it is the person you are going to marry. But who knows what the future will bring?
As psychologist Silvia Congost explains in several of her books, you need to choose your partner every day. Therefore, you may not know if the person you are with is the right one or not, but you can understand that you want to go through a marriage with them.
2. You bring back the problems of the past
The question of whether this person is the right one and the insecurity that this makes you feel can make you bring back the problems of the past that you had not solved until now. Focusing on these negative moments, discussions, or misunderstandings can be a way to give yourself reasons not to get married.
But if, despite these difficulties and problems, you continued to choose your partner, there is a reason for it, do not you think? We can always put it behind us if that’s what we want to do.
3. You have different dreams
Doubt before marriage can occur in your mind because your dreams do not quite fit together. For example, imagine you want to settle down where you are, but your partner prefers to travel, live somewhere else, or work outside the country.
This can be a problem. If your paths do not match, you will not get anywhere. Ultimately, the future of a couple is to go hand in hand in the same direction. When this is not the case, reconsider your relationship.
4. You do not know if this is the right time
Maybe you’re still figuring out what you want with your life, or maybe you’m not sure where you want to go. This is normal as you may feel that it is too early to marry the other person, or the problems you have had made you think about taking it all slower.
Ideally, you should tell your partner what you think. Because it is very likely that they understand your point of view and have no problem waiting for you to feel comfortable.
How To Deal With Doubt Before You Get Married
Now that you know a little more about this doubt before you get married, we will give you some tips so that you can see them in the best possible way. This will help you calm down and make the best decision.
Breathe and give yourself time
The first thing to do when faced with doubt before getting married is to breathe, take time to be alone and go to natural surroundings. Parks or nature trails are great places for you to walk and think.
Knowing what the possible cause is will help you figure out where the real problem is. Then it will be easier to solve it in the best possible way.
Write down why you are with your partner
It’s time to take a pencil train a paper and write down all the reasons why you choose your partner every day. Maybe it’s because you can be yourself with them, because communication is the foundation of the relationship, because you have dreams and goals in common, because they are a gentle person, and your values match.
Think about all the reasons to be with that person and you will see how this doubt before the wedding just disappears. Writing them down makes the process easier.
Set boundaries for what others say to you
There are people around you who may not have had a good experience in their marriage and everything they say to you is negative. There are also others who can pressure you, for example by saying “when do you have children?”.
Try to breathe and set boundaries so that they do not affect you. Remember that these sentences are the result of other experiences that are not the same as yours. So do not take it personally.
Communicate with your partner about your doubts before you get married
In addition to all of the above, there is an essential aspect to the doubts before marriage that you should not overlook and that is to communicate with your partner.
Maybe you prefer to postpone the wedding until later to plan it calmly. This is not wrong at all, and it is valid if you decide it by common agreement.
Doubt before you get married is perfectly normal
Once again, we insist that it is normal to be in doubt before we get married. But these questions can be the result of nerves or uncertainty.
So with the advice we have given you, we hope you can clear up all the worries you have. Above all, communicate with your partner. You are both in the same situation and do not even know it!
